Employee of the Month!
December 2002
ROSEBUD!!
The Floating Thinking Alligator!

Other Links

Anime Central

Mark's Record Reviews

POPocalypse

Cheap Disposable Entertainment

Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal

Creationism vs. Science

Bad Religion

The CPF Times

Even Brander and Newer!!! From Corn Pone Flicks, a new 2002 production, it's....

well, we'll just have to let you find out for yourself, as it'd ruin the surprise a bit to say more ...

Right Click the following link and select 'Save Target As...' to download CPF's new film

Corn Pone Flicks' Latest Production...

Brand New!! From Corn Pone Flicks

it's...

ponganim8.gif (103757 bytes)

PONG! Now available from Corn Pone Flicks, a 5 minute trip back into the debauchery of the 1970s. A divx download version, 5 min, ~26 MB, available below.

Right Click the following link and select 'Save Target As...' to download CPF's new film PONG!

Corn Pone Flicks' PONG!

Right Click the following link and select 'Save Target As...' to download CPF's Indiana Jones film 'trailer'...this test is to see how our hosting of larger files goes ^^. It's ~19MB, 6 min. avi in DivX ;) mpeg4 format:

Corn Pone Flicks' Indiana Jones film

Right Click the following link and select 'Save Target As...' to download yet another fabulous CPF masterwork, Deep Brown Swamp... This video file is a bit larger than IJEF. It's ~39MB, 5 min. avi in DivX ;) mpeg4 format. When you see the footage, you'll see how much more difficult to compress it is :)

Deep Brown Swamp

View classic Corn Pone Flicks masterworks from times past. First is Bonus Track (8.5 MB, 1.5 minute length), and second is CPF's 1997 short B.O.A. (approx 10 MB, 1 minute.) NEW: the ancient CPF Classic Flexible Metal Hose Co. Vs. The Universe (3.8Mb, 1 min.) and the 1995 Mega-hit Corn Dog 7 (7 minutes, ~70mb.) They are all in divX format as well. Once again, right click and save the .avi file.

IMPORTANT NOTICE!!

We recently have had technical problems with our email address which may have resulted in lost mail. If you've sent email in the past weeks and haven't received a response, you may want to send it again. Both mail and email addresses are on the Contact page. There is also now a CPF mailing list, which can be accessed from this page or the Contact page.

Welcome to www.cornponeflicks.org!

We're ready and basically willing to receive all of your CPF acquisition needs. Feel free to browse through the new and up-to-date Filmography and Bios. And don't forget to find out how to obtain copies of Corn Pone Flicks' stupidass movies for your own bad self.

trombone.gif (64142 bytes)

"American Idol" Kelly Clarkson to Head Up New Series

"American Has-Been" to air as mid-season replacement.

"Come on in here dear girl, have a cigar," effused American Idol producer Dipley Schmooze minutes after Miss Clarkson's stunning victory. "You're gonna go far." Not so far, though, that the media mogul hasn't already begun preparing for the inevitable popularity slump and the possible revenue that could be squeezed from it. "You've got to look at the big picture," explains Dipley. "Cokes have to be sold, cars have to be moved. And when Miss Clarkson can no longer "coax the Cokes," as it were, we have to move on, you know. But that doesn't mean she can't still earn us some more money before we toss her aside."
The new series would follow the basic "E True Hollywood Stories" format of charting Kelly's simple beginnings to her rise to fame and fortune, her expected battle with drugs and/or booze (with an optional "failed marriage" package standing by in case she remains clean,) and culminating with how she rose from the ashes to become the perkiest bank teller in her good ole' hometown. Subsequent episodes are expected to include features on the presumably sad yet inspiringly poignant careers of Justin Guarini, Nikki McKibbin, and other of AI's constituency who failed to make the status of "flash in the pan." "With this buffer in place beforehand," says Dipley, "we can guarantee ratings to tide us over until Kelly's replacement is selected on American Idol II. It may sound coldhearted and utilitarian, but sooner or later America's kids are gonna catch on that it just isn't "hip" or "mod" or whatever to listen to the same tediously mediocre pablum as their parents, and we have to hedge our bets."
Paula Abdul will also appear as a recurring hostess on "American Has-Been" for what have been described as 'obvious reasons.'

Local Youth 'Relatively Sure' He'll Want That Swastika Tattooed on his Face for Life

"Where's the conflict?" asks boy.

Parents of fourteen-year-old Simon Gerbil (pronounced with a hard "G") were dismayed to discover that their beloved progeny had spent his collected allowance on an enourmous tattoo of a swastika that stretched from forehead to chin. The appearance of a conspicuously large racial hate symbol "right smack dab in the middle of his dang face" has led Mr. and Mrs. Gerbil to suspect some failing on their part as parents. Young Simon remains nonplussed about the whole issue: "I mean, what kind of bigot judges a person by the way he looks?" the boy maintains. "That's way stupid."
Simon admits to a drastic rise in death threats against him since adorning his mug with the symbol of the Third Reich, along with a comparative difficulty in avoiding severe beatings, but is convinced it will all pass soon enough. When asked what the swastika means to him, he replied, "I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with boots. I'd like to buy a pair of those, too, but I've had a little trouble in getting a job."

Previous articles
Next article

Leper Jim voted "coolest amino acid chain on earth!"

Leper Jim Remarks, "Ouch"

Jim (AP Newswire)

In a dramatic runoff between CPF director Leper Jim and an unidentified man trapped inside a mirror, the victor emerged triumphant in one huge moment of shattering and noise. On-hand referees were quick to proclaim the babbling and bleeding longhair to be clearly "too cool for words," at which point they realized the inherent futility of their statements and began handing Mr. Jim towels.

Here's a quick guide to what the site is all about:

First, this News page here will contain important information regarding the site, and the very latest from the CPF crew themselves. Commonly read editorials, instruction pages, special reports, and links to other sites are referenced in the far left sidebar.

The Filmography page contains a listing of all of Corn Pone Flicks' projects in a list form. Clicking on a title from the list pops up a window with exquisite detail about each work. The Filmography page also includes a link to up-to-date information regarding upcoming CPF projects.

The About CPF page contains biographical and other information about the cast of characters that makes up the gestalt of zaniness known as Corn Pone Flicks.

The Contact page is VERY VERY important. It includes ALL THE DETAILS about how one should contact Corn Pone Flicks and request copies of their films. Please, please read this section carefully! The CPF elder gods are extremely busy and following these guidelines helps immensely when it comes to the time it takes to get tapes done.

The CPF Mailing List is a new addition; a place to go to if you want to blather about our crap (or at least listen to us do so) and/or ask questions and such.

The CPF F.A.Q. contains additional info the curious reader might wish to peruse regarding what we do and why. So don't say we never talk to you.