Imminent Release Of B.A.D. 5 Responsible For Implosion Of Child's Skull

The PTA of the New York City area suburb have voted 14-1 in favor of abandoning so-called 'New Math' programs. Programs which were found to be a secondary cause of the bizarre death of little Tommy Wilson (age 9), found early Monday morning having suffered a hind-brain collapse upon hearing B.A.D. 5 would be the follow-up to B.A.D. 3.

Giant Dinosaur Eats Small Midwestern Town

Larger Town Arrives; Eats Dinosaur

Tragedy struck small Weevil County, Missouri, Thursday as one of a long since thought extinct species, Fuckingus Largus Reptilious, attacked and devoured the small community of East Bufordy (1990 pop: 917, est. current pop: 12 1/2). Neighboring community West Bufordy rallied, gathering together the remaining set of homecoming floats for a counterattack against the 200 foot monster. Using a flanking manuever with the Sandy Duncan Wheat Thin Special, the bus driver's local 209 was able to trick the beast into the town incinerator. Coincidentally, West Bufordy announced the 1st Annual BBQ Boogaloo, set to commence Saturday. When asked about using the lizard for said barbecue, West Bufordy farmer and former state dwarf tossing champion Elbone Scudmore, 52, stated "Ah guess it's just nature's way (hak)(spit)".

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Technical Difficulties interrupt CPF tape copying

1-4-2000

Corn Pone Flicks Homepage Gets Makeover

Leper Jim Remarks, "Heeeeey"

Well, the time has finally come, the changeover to the mighty re-design of the Corn Pone Flicks website. Sorry for the slight delay from our original projections of completion, but there were some problems in implementation due to extensive Y2K testing of Flexible Metal Hose that needed to be ironed out.

Here's a quick guide to what the new site is all about.

First, this News page here. The news page will contain any new information regarding the site and the very latest from the CPF crew themselves. Commonly read editorials, instruction pages, special reports, and links to other sites are referenced in the far left sidebar.

The Filmography page contains a listing of all of Corn Pone Flicks' projects in a list form. Clicking on a title from the list pops up a window with exquisite detail about each work. The Filmography page also includes a list of up-to-date information regarding upcoming CPF projects.

The About CPF page contains biographical and other information about the cast of characters that makes up the gestalt of zaniness known as Corn Pone Flicks.

The Contact Us page is VERY VERY important. It includes ALL THE DETAILS about how one should contact Corn Pone Flicks and how one requests copies of their films. Please, please read this section carefully; the CPF elders are extremely busy and following these guidelines helps immensely when it comes to the time it takes to get tapes done.

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Star Dipwads: Arrivederci Human Race Into Garage For Retooling

Director - "It's too damned long!"

Corn Pone Flicks has decided to pull their very first work, the parody dub Star Dipwads, from distribution. Looking back at SD:AHR, CPF decided it was good to go back and re-work the title so it comes up to their current high standards. More on this item at a future date.