Employee of the Month!
August 2000
Gavv
Ryan Gavigan

Liberal Media Push Election Bid of Lesbo-Marxist Chimpanzee

Illuminati No Doubt Behind This

A muff-diving simian collectivist named G'horo (Kenyan for "ugly wife") may just be your next president! In a startling move, the Democratic National Caucus, which originally named Al Gore as its candidate, reversed itself and selected a different knuckle-walking subhuman. Conservative maven Bill Bennett announced a call for "more fear of black people and other mud races" to draw the spotlight away from the cute ape, who spent all day masturbating with a stick.

Local Christian Continues to Pray

Even Though It Does Absolutely Nothing

- AP, Rockford, Illinois -

Despite crushing disappointment last spring when his wife of nine years left him for another man, local office manager Stephen Blivins continues to request the intercession of divine power through the medium of "prayer." Blivins, who goes to an impressively pointy building each Sunday in order to sing predictable songs and listen to rambling essays based on his irredeemably confused holy writ says that he expects the almighty creator of the universe to heed his words any day now. "I just know Deborah will come back to me," cried an impassioned Blivins. "And God will prove the doctors wrong when he takes away my cancer." God could not be reached for comment.
By anybody.

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Corn Pone Flicks Running Again

Leper Jim Remarks, "Heeeeey"

Jim (AP Newswire)

Corn Pone Flicks is once again accepting video tapes from fans the worldround. If you want copies of our stuff, go to the "Contact" page and find out everything. Good luck, and may the farce be with you!

Here's a quick guide to what the site is all about:

First, this News page here will contain important information regarding the site, and the very latest from the CPF crew themselves. Commonly read editorials, instruction pages, special reports, and links to other sites are referenced in the far left sidebar.

The Filmography page contains a listing of all of Corn Pone Flicks' projects in a list form. Clicking on a title from the list pops up a window with exquisite detail about each work. The Filmography page also includes a link to up-to-date information regarding upcoming CPF projects.

The About CPF page contains biographical and other information about the cast of characters that makes up the gestalt of zaniness known as Corn Pone Flicks.

The Contact page is VERY VERY important. It includes ALL THE DETAILS about how one should contact Corn Pone Flicks and request copies of their films. Please, please read this section carefully! The CPF elders are extremely busy and following these guidelines helps immensely when it comes to the time it takes to get tapes done.