cpftop.gif (7900 bytes)

So what the F.A.Q. is CORN PONE FLICKS?

by Matt Murray

Yeah; what indeed? I mean, who would call themselves Corn Pone Flicks, and what the hell would a group so entitled do? Well, sit back and listen, and we'll tell you when you're wrong. Note that for the record, many of these questions are no longer remotely relevant to anything anyone would conceivably be asking today.



Q. What is Corn Pone Flicks?
Q. What, in fact, is "corn pone," anyway?
Q. How long have you been doing this stuff?
Q. Is the original cut of Star Dipwads: Arrivederci, Human Race still available?
Q. Do you ever plan to re-release The Making of Star Dipwads?
Q. What ever happened to the film The Arcadia vs the Enterprise (as mentioned in the "Animation vs Live Action" article)?
Q. Why do you give away all this stuff for free?
Q. Do you object to people copying or screening your films, videos, etc?
Q. Do you copy in stereo or mono?
Q. Is it still possible to get VHS copies of films not available on DVD?
Q. How do you do all those special effects?
Q. Are you guys ever going to finish Ozone Commandos?
Q. Why do you use the English title "Queen Millennia" instead of "Millennium Queen?"
Q. Why do you use the transliteration "Maeter" for the blond in Galaxy Express 999 instead of "Maetel," like VIZ and the other translation companies do?
Q. Do you plan to finish subtitling Endless Road SSX?
Q. Did CPF ever do a partial dub of Vampire Hunter D, and is it available?
Q. Why do you insist on using the old-fashioned SASE method instead of using Paypal or similar services like most fansub distributors do these days?
Q. Are your films suitable for kids?
Q. Dude, VHS is soooo yesterday. Aren't you ever going to offer your stuff on DVD or on bit torrent?
Q. Why did you quit distributing copies of Space Pirate Captain Harlock?
Q. If we can't get copies of your subs, can we get files of the scripts so we can make our own?
Q. I've got a DVD-making doohickey here; if you'd like, I could make DVD copies of your Harlock tapes for you if you'll send me the master tapes.



A. Corn Pone Flicks is an amateur film and parody film outfit run by us people what are listed on the "About CPF" page of this here site. We began primarily as an anime parody group, doing overdub parodies as well as the "animation vs. live-action" stuff mentioned in the article above, and then moved on to doing short live-action films, fake trailers spoofing the Hollywood crap factory, and fansubs of Matsumoto anime (which was our most popular commodity until we got sick of it and pulled those items from distribution). We invented this name at random back in 1989, though since then I've seen it misused in completely incorrect contexts by individuals who obviously have no clue what they're talking about (see next question).

Q. What, in fact, is "corn pone," anyway?

A. It’s a southern term for cornbread, which we hadn’t realized was so darned obscure when we named ourselves thus. "Pone" is an Indian word for a type of bread, which was adopted by early American settlers. Some people, presumably ones with reading disorders, seem to think it has something to do with pornography, which it doesn't. (Google's sponsored ad function isn't helping with this problem, either.) If you've arrived here for this reason, learn to spell, you dumb shit.

Q. How long have you been doing this stuff?

A. CPF started its first work, Star Dipwads: Arrivederci, Human Race (a parody of Arrivederci, Yamato) in 1988, finishing in spring of ’89, though I’ve been into filmmaking since 1980, when I was ten. We've stayed more or less active since that time, though as we’ve actually started caring about quality in recent years, our output has slowed down a bit.

Q. Is the original cut of Star Dipwads: Arrivederci, Human Race still available?

A. Ooohhh, no. We taped right over it with the new cut. It was downright embarrassingly unfunny. The new cut is a much better evocation of the same ideas, plus it only wastes half as much of your life now.

Q. Do you ever plan to re-release The Making of Star Dipwads?

A. Uhh-uhh, no way. You're cute, but the fate of the earth is more important, Dorothy. A short montage of scenes from the film appears in the DVD and streaming version of the Star Dipwads Christmas Special, and that's the most that will ever be seen by living beings again.

Q. What ever happened to the film The Arcadia vs the Enterprise (as mentioned in the "Animation vs Live Action" article)?

A. That film was assimilated into the first X-23 film, so distributing it separately seemed to lack a point. Besides, the X-23 version of the sequence was better edited, anyway.

Q. Why do you give away all this stuff for free?

A. Because for the most part it would be illegal to sell it, and frankly it isn’t worth paying for. I wouldn’t pay for it, at any rate. But we would like people to see it; hence, we give it away to anyone who can follow our exceedingly simple-ass rules. No one is likely to make a stink about copyright violation if no money ever changes hands. (Contrary to popular belief, parody is not explicitly protected under copyright law.)

Q. Do you object to people copying or screening your films, videos, etc?

A. As long as it is non-profit, not at all. Copy away; it saves me the trouble. I've heard some bizarre rumors claming that we don't like to give out copies (I suppose those people can explain the purpose of this website, then?) and that I've personally demanded that people destroy their copies of my videos. This is a lie, and a bloody mystifying one, to boot.

Q. Do you copy in stereo or mono?

A. We copy using stereo VCRs-or at least we did back when we still used VCRs at all-but a majority of our films were mastered in mono to begin with, so you can quit fiddling with your audio controls in a vain attempt to coax out some stereo sound. Of the major films, only Star Dipwads II and the two Mazinger parodies were made in stereo. All the short films beginning in 1999 were done in stereo (except In the Realm of the Ants.)

Q. Is it still possible to get VHS copies of films not available on DVD?

A. Sorry, but no. I no longer have a VHS deck-to-deck setup that could make such copies. In addition, the tape versions not yet remastered have been played so many times that they no longer play back cleanly, anyway.

Q. How do you do all those special effects?

A. Flashlights, glass, cardboard boxes, fog machines, milk, fishtanks, matches, firecrackers, spraypaint, sand, green walls, masonite, ladders, cotton, dry ice, and spfx equipment and programs in various combinations. A lengthy discussion would, in fact, be quite lengthy indeed.

Q. Are you guys ever going to finish Ozone Commandos?

A. Yes. Part one is now completed and can be viewed here. If you want the full story of this overlong production, go here.

Q. Why do you use the English title "Queen Millennia" instead of "Millennium Queen?"

A. Because that’s the title that appears-in English-at the start of the film.

Q. Why do you use the transliteration "Maeter" for the blond in Galaxy Express 999 instead of "Maetel," like VIZ and the other translation companies do?

A. As you may know, "maeter" is Latin for "mother." As the character is obviously representative of a mother figure (a song sung from her point of view in Eternal Fantasy is entitled "Mother," for example,) it seems obvious that "Maeter" is the correct rendering. VIZ reportedly passed on this romanization on the grounds that it was too obvious a metaphor. I, however, am disinclined to exclude the author's ideas because people might understand them. (Note: the Japanese interchangably use both spellings. It's not like they much care what it reads as in English, anyhow.) For a comprehensive look at Matsumoto anime, visit The Captain Harlock Archives section of this site.

Q. Do you plan to finish subtitling Endless Road SSX?

A. We've no plans to resume subtitling SSX, as I got rather burned out on subtitling, not to mention the time it takes away from our original projects. The people who were writing to me asking for subtitled anime became increasingly obnoxious and irritating, resulting in its total removal from our catalogue.

Q. Did CPF ever do a partial dub of Vampire Hunter D, and is it available?

A. We did do a test dub consisting of four scenes from the film (that's the original 1985 "D" film, not the new one) back in 1993, but we had no real plans to dub the entire film, nor was it really even possible to do so. Distributing it in an incomplete state seemed to lack any real point, so we didn't include it on this page. For all the details, go here.

Q. Why do you insist on using the old-fashioned SASE method instead of using Paypal or similar services like most fansub distributors do these days?

A. Because it makes things easier on us if you do all the work. Also, we don't want any money coming in for our stuff, so there can be no mistake-should anyone care-that CPF is a non-profit group. These days, everyone is getting their fix via download or streaming video, anyway, so it's not really an issue anymore.

Q. Are your films suitable for kids?

A. Sure, as long as you don't mind copius usages of the word "fuck," jokes revolving around violence, death and spurting blood, and a healthy dose of antireligious mockery. I expect your kids will laugh, whether you like it or not. At least there's no boinking or nudity (which I expect will disappoint all the sweaty-palmed fanboys out there. Good!)

Q. Dude, VHS is soooo yesterday. Aren't you ever going to offer your stuff on DVD or on bit torrent?

A. I've undertaken the arduous task of converting our older works into digital format so it can be preserved and distributed on DVD. Presently, most of our films can be viewed streaming from their respective entries on the Major Films and Shorts pages. I may also look into putting up the few finished DVDs for bittorrenting, whenever I figure out how the hell it works.

Q. Why did you quit distributing copies of Space Pirate Captain Harlock?

A. First, I've been sick of doing so for years as it is. To read why, go here. Second, the non-stop copying was degrading my tapes and keeping my equipment in the repair shop, so I decided to halt copying to preserve my tapes, which are first and foremost MY tapes, for me to enjoy. I had said that I might, might start sending them out again after converting them to DVD, though that would be a long time away. This announcement was followed by a steady stream of nagging emails from people who apparently read that as "I'm definitely going to do it, and any second now," asking me if I'd done it yet and how much longer would it be, and could they persuade me to hurry up, etc, even though the Contact page explicity asked that people not mail me about this. So since the anime fans of the world refuse to be respectful or follow the rules, the well has now permenantly run dry. This is 100% non-negotiable.

Q. If we can't get copies of your subs, can we get files of the scripts so we can make our own?

A. Sorry, but that's impossible. There are no files of the scripts. We didn't use a computer to do the subtitles, just a simple character generator which could only hold about half an episode's worth of script at a time, and had no capacity to save files to disk. After half the episode was laid down, the memory would be purged to make room for the second half of the script. As a result, the only place the scripts exist are on the subtitled copies themselves (and if you're thinking of asking for those, see the above question).

Q. I've got a DVD-making doohickey here; if you'd like, I could make DVD copies of your Harlock episodes for you if you'll send me the master tapes.

A. What, are you on drugs? I primarily stopped making copies of these because I didn't want to subject my tapes to the risk of damage; do you seriously imagine I'm going to leave my irreplacable copies to the whims of either the United States Postal Service, or some complete stranger? The master copies of our films never leave my home; we learned the hard way that that was the way it had to be. I can make DVDs myself; if I wanted to make Harlock DVDs, I could do it on my own. Quit fishing for new excuses; you aren't getting any more Harlock episodes out of me. End of story. (There's a legit American release at this point, so I really don't expect to hear about this one any more.)



Does that answer your dang queries? Huh? Is anyone there?



Back to News page

Back to Contact page